I’ve always thought my perfectionism was just anxiety, but lately I’m not so sure. It’s not only worrying that something will go wrong. I can get really stuck on doing things the “right” way, even when nobody else cares about the details. I’ll redo small tasks, make strict plans, and get irritated when someone changes how I expected things to happen.
The weird part is that it sometimes feels less like fear and more like believing my way is the responsible way. Then I lose a lot of time and still don’t feel satisfied. I’m wondering whether this could be more than ordinary anxiety, or if I’m overthinking the whole thing. Has anyone else noticed a difference between anxious perfectionism and possible OCPD traits?
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The part about it feeling “responsible” rather than scary seems like a useful distinction. I’ve noticed that with my own perfectionism too. Sometimes I’m not expecting a disaster, I just feel convinced that taking extra time is the mature or sensible thing, even when it’s clearly costing me more than it’s helping.
I’d be careful about trying to sort out OCPD from a post, though. A therapist might look at how long this pattern has been around, how much it affects relationships and flexibility, and whether it feels consistent with your values or more like something intrusive. Does the irritation mostly happen when other people change your plans, or do you feel just as stuck when you’re working alone?
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That “mature or sensible” feeling is what makes it hard to question, I think. I can talk myself into spending another hour on something because it feels like being thorough, even when I know I’m past the point of useful work.
For me, it happens alone too, especially with paperwork or anything I’ve made a specific plan for. Other people changing things adds irritation, but the stuck part doesn’t really need anyone else there. I’ve been trying to notice whether I’m fixing an actual problem or just trying to get relief from the discomfort of leaving it imperfect.