I’ve been wondering if my need for control could be OCPD. I get stuck on how things should be done, and I can have a hard time letting someone else handle them without checking or correcting it. It causes tension, but part of me still feels like I’m just being responsible.
I know being organized or particular doesn’t automatically mean there’s a disorder. I’m more concerned because it affects my relationships and makes it hard to relax. Has anyone brought this up with a therapist and found it useful?
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The part about feeling responsible while still creating tension is worth bringing up in therapy. That was the hardest bit for me to see clearly, because checking felt like helping, not controlling.
A therapist can look at whether it’s OCPD or something else, but they can also help with the actual pattern either way. I’ve found it useful to practice letting one small thing be done differently without correcting it, then sit with the discomfort and notice what I’m predicting will happen.
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That “I’m just being responsible” feeling can make it really hard to notice when the checking has crossed into control. I’ve had times where the task was genuinely getting done fine, but I still felt pulled to step in because it wasn’t being done my way.
Bringing the relationship impact to a therapist seems useful, even without settling on the OCPD label right away. I’d probably mention specific examples, like what happens when someone does a task differently, how strong the urge to correct is, and how long it takes to calm down afterward.
@Melvin_Cooke, the distinction between helping and controlling is such a tricky one. I’ve caught myself offering “help” that nobody asked for, then feeling irritated when it wasn’t welcomed. Usually the real issue was that I couldn’t tolerate not being in charge of how it turned out.
The small experiment you mentioned makes sense. I’ve tried leaving minor things alone, like how someone loads the dishwasher, and noticing that the uncomfortable feeling rises and then fades without anything terrible happening. Writing down what I expected would happen has made some of those predictions look pretty extreme afterward.