Intrusive thoughts can turn checking into a full-time job
The worst part for me is how reasonable the checking feels in the moment. I might worry that I left the stove on, so I check it once. Then I get a flash of doubt about whether I actually looked properly, and suddenly I’m going back three, four, sometimes ten times. I know the stove is off, but my brain keeps adding a “what if.”
I remember being late to an appointment because I kept checking the front door lock. I watched the bolt slide into place, walked away, then came back because I couldn’t trust the memory from a few seconds earlier. By the time I finally left, I was already exhausted and embarrassed.
The relief after checking doesn’t last very long, which makes the whole thing feel impossible to stop. Does anyone have a way to sit with that uncertainty without checking again?
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The part about watching the bolt slide and still not trusting the memory really hit home. I’ve had that happen with the front door, where I knew I’d locked it but felt pulled back for one more look.
What’s helped me a little is naming the urge instead of arguing with it: “That’s the doubt asking for certainty.” Then I leave and let the discomfort come along. It feels wrong at first, but it usually fades faster than I expect.
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@Michael_Browning, naming it as the doubt asking for certainty sounds useful. I’ve noticed that arguing with the thought can turn into another kind of checking, just in my head.
Leaving while the discomfort is still there is the hard part, especially when everything feels unfinished. I’m going to try treating that feeling as something I can carry out the door instead of a signal that I need to go back.
@Taylor_Flowers, the “what if” after already seeing the stove off is the part that catches me too. I started saying out loud, “I checked once, and I’m choosing not to buy another check,” then leaving the room before the urge could build.
The first few times, the anxiety felt louder and I wanted to turn around. I set a short timer for ten minutes and treated not checking as the task. Usually the urge dropped enough by then that I could keep going. It hasn’t stopped every time, but breaking that automatic return has helped.