I’ve been trying to figure out whether my perfectionism is just an annoying trait or something closer to the OCPD criteria. I don’t only want things done well. I can get stuck on the exact way they should be done, redo things that are already fine, and have a hard time letting someone else handle them. The part that bothers me is how much time it takes and how irritated I get when other people don’t follow the same standards.
At the same time, I’m not sure where the line is. Being organized, conscientious, or picky doesn’t automatically mean OCPD. From what I understand, it’s more about a long-term pattern involving rigidity, control, perfectionism, and difficulty with flexibility, with enough impact on relationships or daily life to really cause problems.
I’m trying not to diagnose myself based on a checklist, especially since anxiety can look similar. I’d rather bring specific examples to a therapist and talk about the pattern, not just say “I’m a perfectionist.” That seems like the more useful distinction.
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@Jesse_Matthews, the part about redoing things that are already fine sounds especially useful to bring up in therapy. The time cost and irritation seem more informative than simply having high standards.
Writing down a few recent examples might help too, including what triggered it, how long it took, and what happened when you tried to leave it alone. That could help separate anxiety-driven checking from a broader pattern of needing things done one specific way.
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@Jesse_Matthews, the irritation when someone else does things differently seems like a really useful detail to track. For me, the bigger question wouldn’t be whether the result is actually better, but whether I can tolerate another acceptable way without taking over or stewing about it.
It might help to write down what you expect will happen if you leave something alone. Sometimes the fear is that it’ll fail, people will judge it, or things will feel out of control. Other times it’s more of a fixed sense that there’s one correct method. Those can look similar from the outside, but probably give a therapist different things to explore.
Bringing examples of the time lost and the effect on other people sounds much more useful than trying to match yourself to every criterion online.
@Christopher_Wilson, tracking what happens when you try to leave something alone seems like the most useful part to me. I can tell myself a task is finished, then find one tiny issue and suddenly I’m back in it for another hour.
The trigger matters too. Sometimes it feels like fear that I missed something, but other times it’s just that the method feels wrong even when the result is fine. Writing down the difference could make the pattern a lot clearer in therapy.