Trying to get comfortable with OCPD treatment has been harder than I expected. Part of me keeps wanting to understand every step before I commit to it, which is probably the exact problem I’m supposed to work on.
Therapy feels uncomfortable because I can’t organize the process or make sure I’m doing it perfectly. I’ve been trying to notice that urge without immediately acting on it. Some days that means letting a small mistake sit there instead of fixing it right away.
I’m still unsure about medication and the whole idea of changing patterns that have felt like part of my personality for years. But I’m starting to see treatment less as losing control and more as having a few more choices.