PTSD makes ordinary stuff feel way harder than it should. Things like answering a text, going into a store, making a phone call, even getting ready to leave the house can take way too much energy. From the outside it probably looks like I’m procrastinating or being difficult, but inside I’m already tense and trying to predict everything that could go wrong.
The frustrating part is knowing these things aren’t actually dangerous, while my body reacts like they are. I can have a decent day and then one small sound, smell, or unexpected change throws me off for hours. It makes life feel smaller sometimes.
I’m trying to stop judging myself for needing more time with basic things. That doesn’t fix it, but it keeps the shame from piling on top of the PTSD.
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The shame can make a simple task feel even bigger. Giving yourself extra time isn’t being difficult, especially when your body is reacting before you’ve had a chance to think it through.
I once sat in my car outside a store for nearly twenty minutes, just waiting until I felt steady enough to go in. I used to call that failure, but now I see it as taking the time I needed.
@Stephanie_Stone, the part about one small sound or smell changing the whole day makes sense to me. It can feel like my mind knows I’m safe, but my body hasn’t received the message yet.
I’ve found that allowing extra time works better than arguing with myself about why a simple task should be easy. Sometimes I make the goal smaller, like putting on shoes or writing the first few words of a text. That takes some pressure off and keeps the shame from taking over.