I’ve started therapy for old trauma, but I’m still not sure how much I can actually trust it. Part of me wants help, while another part keeps waiting for something to go wrong. Talking about certain things out loud feels risky, even when the therapist is calm and kind.
I know trust probably won’t show up all at once. Right now I’m trying to notice how I feel after sessions instead of forcing myself to open up faster than I can handle. Some days I leave feeling lighter, and other days I feel exposed and unsettled. It’s confusing, but maybe that doesn’t mean therapy is failing. Maybe it means I’m learning what feels safe, little by little.
Has anyone else needed a long time before feeling comfortable with therapy?
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Rebecca, noticing how you feel after each session sounds like a wise way to track what’s happening without pressuring yourself. Feeling exposed afterward doesn’t necessarily mean you did anything wrong. Sometimes talking about old material leaves the nervous system on alert for a while.
I’ve found it can help to tell the therapist when I’m holding back or expecting something to go wrong. That hesitation is part of the work, not a failure to participate. You’re allowed to slow down, ask questions, and decide what you’re ready to share.
Rebecca, the part about leaving some sessions lighter and others exposed makes sense to me. I’ve had appointments where I felt fine walking out, then noticed later that I was tense and short-tempered over something small.
I found it helped to mention that pattern at the beginning of the next session. We spent a little time on how to settle afterward instead of treating the discomfort as proof that therapy was going wrong. Taking trust slowly seems reasonable.