This reminds me of a particular moment I had last week. I was supposed to meet up with some friends for dinner, and I felt that familiar tug of anxiety pulling me back. It’s a strange feeling, like my brain is at war with itself—part of me really wanted to go, but another part was screaming for me to stay in the safety of my own space. That’s the thing about compulsive avoidance disorder; it can feel like a relentless cycle, where you end up avoiding situations you know would be enjoyable just because they feel daunting.
I’ve come to realize that this avoidance isn’t just about being introverted or needing alone time. It’s deeper than that. Sometimes, I catch myself rationalizing why I should skip out on things I genuinely care about. “What if it’s awkward?” or “What if I embarrass myself?” Those thoughts can spiral so quickly that before I know it, I’m convincing myself that the couch and my favorite show are the only safe havens.
But here’s the kicker—I know when I push through those barriers, I often end up having a great time. That night, I opted to go to dinner, and yes, I had to talk myself into it every step of the way. When I arrived, I was welcomed with laughter and stories, and I found myself easing into the moment. It’s like I could feel my chest lightening with each passing minute. I ended up sharing some hilarious memories and even laughed about my own quirks in the process.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, while avoidance can feel like a comforting option, it often leads to missing out on the good stuff. I’ve been making a conscious effort to recognize those avoidance instincts for what they are. It’s a learning curve, though, and I still have days where it feels insurmountable.
How do you all navigate moments of avoidance? I’d love to hear about your experiences! It feels good to share this and know we’re not alone in these challenges. It’s a journey for sure, and every step counts!