My struggle with post traumatic affair syndrome

I used to think that when it comes to cheating and betrayal, the pain goes away with the end of the relationship. But I recently learned about Post Traumatic Affair Syndrome (PTAS) and realized that for me, that’s not necessarily true.

The shock and sadness I felt when I first found out about the affair were intense. But even after the relationship ended, I still felt incredibly broken. Neither time nor distance healed my wounds—they remained open and sore. Even now, months later, it can be hard to talk about this part of my life without tears coming to my eyes.

It’s been a slow and sometimes painful journey living with PTAS. Not every aspect of this condition is resolved overnight; it takes patience, compassion, strong self care practices, as well as support from family members and professionals to get through it.

I’ve worked hard to understand myself better as I cope with PTAS symptoms like feelings of disappointment, anger, depression, anxiety or confusion whenever something triggers memories of the cheating experience, changes in trust toward intimate relationships or lingering effects like impaired self image or trouble concentrating at work or school.

I’m so grateful for all those who have stuck by me through this hard time: friends and loved ones who listen to me with open hearts and provide a supportive shoulder after difficult days. To anyone going through what I am: you are not alone in your struggles! It’s ok to take it one day at a time as you work towards healing your heart and reclaiming your power in life again.

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I can definitely relate to your experience and understand how overwhelming the emotions can be after finding out about the affair. I too felt such a strong wave of emotions and sadness when I was in a similar situation. It can be so difficult to process all the pain and betrayal, but know that it’s totally normal to feel the way you do.

You are right that this is not just something to easily move on from; living with PTAS can take a lot of energy and self-care. It’s ok to take it one day at a time, and focus on steps forward instead of dwelling in the past. There is no exact timeline for healing, so don’t put pressure on yourself to get over it quickly!

It takes so much strength and courage to keep going, especially amidst such tough times. It’s important that we surround ourselves with people who will listen, love us, and really be there for us — that support is so important. This isn’t easy but you are resilient, strong, and brave - you got this!