I’ve struggled with obsessive thoughts for many years now, and I’m still trying to figure out how to cope. It started after a traumatic experience and since then has been an almost constant companion - except where meds have been able to help alleviate some of the symptoms in recent years.
It feels like my brain is on a never-ending loop of repeated thoughts and ideas, checking things over and over again until I’m sure that nothing will be missed or forgotten, going round in circles until I feel so overwhelmed that all I want to do is shut down and run away. My mind is constantly replaying the same conversations, worrying about potential outcomes that may never occur.
I’ve tried a lot of different things to try and get back control of my thoughts – meditation, mindfulness exercises, even therapy – but it’s still been difficult to untangle the knots my thoughts tend to make up for themselves.
The one thing that has helped me most though is talking about it. The moment when I was brave enough to tell someone else about what was going on inside my head felt like a weight had been taken off me. Since then I’ve made more effort to open up about what’s going on with me; because not only does sharing your story make you feel heard, it makes you realise that there are others out there who know what you’re going through too.
Living with obsessive thoughts isn’t easy but I’m continuing to take one day at a time and work towards healthier coping strategies so that maybe one day obsessions won’t take up such a large part of my life anymore.