It all started when I was a teenager, and suddenly realized that I could never finish the big portions of food that my family and friends were eating. It felt like the portion sizes were too big for me to handle and I would start feeling stuffed after just a few bites. After some time, I realized it was not normal behaviour and decided to look for help.
What I came across was Laureate Eating Disorder (LDE). While it is not as well-known as Anorexia Nervosa or Bulimia Nervosa, it does have similar characteristics. For those dealing with LDE, we obsessively measure our portions so that our meal sizes are small enough so we do not feel overwhelmed by them. At times this can be so extreme that even a small plate can be seen as overly full or something we “cannot handle” which can keep us from eating at all.
When I first discovered my condition, it caused me great distress since it triggered feelings of guilt and low self-esteem. My family couldn’t understand why I made such strange meal choices – where over time they became smaller and smaller – accompanied by long pauses between bites in order to control myself from overeating.
To tackle this problem, I have had regular therapy sessions in order to identify why such fears are present while getting support on how to cope with them. This sort of help has been instrumental in helping me come to terms with my disorder and learn ways to reassure myself that there is nothing wrong with taking the time to eat slowly or choosing portion sizes which respect my individual needs rather than following societal norms when eating out in public places or at home.
My journey has been difficult but through understanding more about LDE coupled with support from various people around me, I am more comfortable managing my meals today than ever before!