I’ve struggled with an eating disorder my entire life and it never really got better until I realized that I had orthorexia. Orthorexia is an obsessive disorder about eating only ‘healthy’ foods - but not in a typical sense of healthy. It was an obsession with what I thought was ‘clean’ or ‘pure’ food that actually made me very sick, both physically and mentally.
I found myself restricting certain types of foods and became paranoid about the ingredients list on anything that I ate or drank. Not only did this make social events impossible, but it also alienated me from family and friends who didn’t understand why I was so picky about food. Eventually, I noticed how restrictive my eating habits were becoming and how adverse it affected my mental state so decided to seek help.
My therapy sessions helped me gain more insight into my condition which helped me become more aware of the underlying motivations driving my behavior. As I learned more constructive techniques for dealing with feelings around food without coming down hard on myself, I began to enjoy food again rather than dread meals out as a source of anxiety.
It’s been a difficult journey learning to accept that all kinds of food are ok for me to consume, but through hard work I’m feeling happier now than ever before!