I never thought I’d find myself in the midst of an eating disorder. But that’s exactly where I am today. It all started several years ago when I tried to take more control over my life and my eating habits. Little did I know that this desire for control would spiral into a full-blown battle with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
I’ve spent countless hours analyzing food labels and counting calories, cutting out entire food groups, and trying to hide my behaviors from everyone around me. In moments of fear and desperation, it can feel like my behaviors are the only thing keeping me safe from weight gain or other perceived risks – even though I know that’s not true. On the flipside, there have been times when guilt and self-loathing set in because I don’t look exactly like what society believes is “perfect”.
All of this has taken a toll on both my mental and physical health. Luckily, I’m now on an incredible path towards recovery, having started therapy and found great support from friends and family members. My journey will never be completely over, but by taking small steps each day towards health and self-esteem, I’m proud of how far I’ve come already.