This past month, I’ve had to face a painful reality that’s been lurking in the depths of my subconscious for far longer than I knew. Through obsessive consumption of mukbangs - videos of people indulging in massive amounts of food - I had developed an eating disorder.
It was when I started to feel like my life was out of control that I finally sought help. Asking for help can be daunting, but knowing the consequences had I not taken action was too intimidating to ignore. After a few check-ins with a doctor, it became clear that my constant need to watch someone else consume countless calories was behind my erratic eating habits - and became very isolating as well.
To counter this cycle of obsession and unhealthy habits, I began focusing on fostering healthier relationships with food by trying new methods of cooking and learning what portions were most suitable. Additionally, taking time off from watching others indulge in large amounts of food has helped me find balance within myself and better understand why this became an issue in the first place.
It’s been just over a month since starting this journey, but the progress feels incremental every day and it’s giving me confidence to keep going on this path to recovery.