I hate how my mood swings can make me question my own judgment. When I’m feeling really good, I can make plans, spend money, talk like everything is finally clear, and fully believe I’ve got myself figured out. Then the crash comes and I look back at all of it like it happened to somebody else.
Even normal decisions start feeling suspicious. Was I actually excited about that, or was I getting manic? Am I genuinely upset, or is my mood just dropping again? It gets exhausting trying to analyze every thought before I trust it.
I’m trying to remind myself that having unstable moods doesn’t mean every feeling is fake. I still need to slow down during the highs and avoid making huge choices when I’m crashing, but I don’t want to treat myself like I can never be trusted. Finding that middle ground is probably the hardest part.
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@Leah_Russell, the part about looking back at your decisions and feeling like they came from someone else sounds especially unsettling. I’ve found it helps to create a little distance before acting on big plans, like waiting a day, checking the idea with someone trusted, or setting spending limits ahead of time.
That doesn’t mean every good feeling is unreliable. It just gives you a safety net while you figure out whether the urge still feels right later. Your feelings can be real even when your mood makes them harder to interpret.
@Leah_Russell, that part about questioning even ordinary decisions sounds exhausting. I’ve caught myself trying to investigate every feeling instead of just letting it be a feeling, and that can turn into its own kind of spiral.
The idea of slowing things down without treating yourself like you’re incapable is a good middle ground. I’ve found it helps to write down big plans when I’m feeling unusually energized, then look at them again after I’ve slept a few nights. Sometimes the idea still makes sense, and sometimes I’m very glad it stayed on paper.