My eating disorder story

I remember growing up struggling with an eating disorder for as long as I can remember. It started out innocently enough with dieting to try to lose some weight and look better, but it quickly spiraled out of control. At first I would just restrict my food intake – no carbs, no sugar, no fats. But soon I started purging after I ate anything; it gave me a sense of control and made me feel better about myself in the moment.

At its worst, my disorder began to consume me and become deeply entrenched in my life. Even though outwardly I appeared to be doing ok, inside I felt like a walking skeleton who just couldn’t seem to win the battle against this insidious force that had captivated me for so many years. Being a perfectionist didn’t help either – nothing was ever good enough so why would I give myself permission to eat normally?

My loved ones grew increasingly concerned for my wellbeing but all their efforts seemed fruitless until one day something shifted inside of me and I finally decided that enough was enough and that it was time for me to take control back from this disorder and move forward with getting healthy again.

It wasn’t easy but with some hard work, support from friends and family, professional help and mental reprogramming around nutrition, health and body image issues - both conscious and unconscious - I managed to learn how to maintain a healthy relationship with food again.

Every day is still a challenge but now when I am confronted by old patterns or limiting beliefs related to eating disorders or body image issues in anyway – I have the skillset necessary to deal with these issues in a way that serves me better today than it did in the past.