My dad’s Alzheimer’s has made me obsess over every little thing. I keep checking whether he ate, took his medication, locked the door, or said something that might mean he’s getting worse. Even after I check, my brain finds another reason to go back and check again.
Some of it probably comes from feeling like I should be able to prevent every bad moment. But I know that isn’t realistic. Alzheimer’s doesn’t follow a neat pattern, and no amount of checking can give me complete control. Still, I’ll notice myself replaying conversations or worrying that I missed some tiny warning sign.
It’s exhausting, and then I feel guilty for being exhausted. Lately I’m trying to write down the practical things once and leave them there, instead of trusting my anxious thoughts to keep sending me back. I’m not great at it yet, but I’m starting to see that caring for him also means not letting fear run every minute of my day.
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The part about writing things down once really makes sense. I started keeping a simple checklist for my mom’s appointments and medications, because otherwise I’d keep mentally reviewing the same details long after they were handled.
The guilt over being tired can be its own trap. I’ve had to remind myself that exhaustion doesn’t mean I care any less. Leaving some room for myself actually makes it easier to stay patient when something unexpected happens.
@Erik_Howard, the part about replaying conversations really hit me. It’s so easy to treat every odd comment or small change like evidence that you missed something, even when there may not be a clear meaning behind it.
Writing things down once sounds like a useful boundary, especially if you add a time to check again rather than checking whenever anxiety tells you to. Have you found that any particular routine helps you trust the notes and leave the worry alone?