Lately my compulsions have been eating up more and more of the day. It starts with something that seems small, like checking one thing again, washing my hands, or going back to make sure I did something correctly. Then somehow an hour is gone, and I’m still not convinced it’s enough.
The worst part is how temporary the relief feels. I do the compulsion, feel a little calmer for a minute, and then the doubt comes back with another demand. I’ve started planning around it too, leaving extra time before going anywhere and avoiding certain tasks because I already know how much they might trigger.
I’m trying not to treat this like a personal failure, but it’s hard when my own routines seem to control me. I think I need to be more honest with a professional about how much time this is taking, instead of only talking about the thoughts behind it. Is anyone else at the point where the compulsions are affecting most of their day?
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@Brandon_Mann, the way the relief disappears so quickly is something I’ve struggled with too. One night I kept returning to check the front door, and each check only made the next doubt feel more urgent.
Telling a professional the actual amount of time involved made a difference for me. I used to describe the thoughts but leave out the repeated actions, which made it sound much smaller than it was.
The planning around compulsions can make the whole day feel smaller. I started writing down the actual minutes spent checking for a few days, including the “quick” checks I normally dismissed. Seeing the total on paper helped me explain the problem clearly to my therapist.
One thing that helped was agreeing on a tiny delay before responding to one low-risk urge, rather than trying to stop everything at once. The anxiety rose, then came down some without doing the check. It wasn’t comfortable, but it showed me the urge could pass.