I spend a lot of my life feeling out of control, like my emotions are constantly jumping from one extreme to another. Each morning I wake up with a sense of dread because I never know what kind of day I’m going to have. Some days can be so smooth that it almost feels strange and other days can be so chaotic that it makes me feel lost and confused. Over the years, I’ve learned that I’m living with bipolar disorder.
For a long time, I wasn’t sure what was wrong or why things felt so off sometimes but once an official diagnosis was made, it was like a light switch had been turned on inside me. Suddenly everything made sense and even though all the emotions still felt overwhelming at times, now I could begin to make sense of them and take steps towards learning how to cope and manage them better.
That was more than a year ago now, and in that time I’ve had both ups and downs but overall I feel like my mental health is really improving. Through therapy, medication, lifestyle changes, creative outlets and self-care activities, I’m gradually starting to recognise triggers for when an episode might come on and how best to help reduce its intensity if possible. This isn’t something that has been easy for me but taking charge of my own recovery process helps me stay focused on creating positive long-term change in my life instead getting consumed by all the daily struggles. It’s certainly been a challenging journey but through hard work, dedication and lots of resilience; I feel hopeful about the journey ahead.