As I get older, I am becoming increasingly aware of the tight grip that anxiety has on me. It’s as if it’s always been there, but without a magnifying glass to bring it into focus. Panic attacks seem to come more often and I find myself struggling with simple daily tasks like getting out of bed in the morning and socializing with others.
I begin my day by forcing myself out of bed and trying to focus on little things that I can accomplish during the day. Even though I feel overwhelmed, completing these small objectives gives me some sense of accomplishment and peace throughout my day. On days where just getting up is too much of a task for me to manage, I force myself to take deep breaths, remind myself that this is all temporary and let my body relax as much as possible.
When it comes time for me to be social with friends or family, I find myself shaking from nerves and unable to string a complete sentence together. Saying no becomes difficult because of fear or guilt. Eventually I’ve had enough though and find ways to make sure that my time spent around people doesn’t overpower my need for alone, quiet time; whether that’s taking “me-time” breaks or setting reasonable boundaries so that too much socializing doesn’t strip away all my energy reserves – both physical and mental.
Anxiety can be strong but it has not completely taken over yet – or at least it doesn’t feel like it has. There are moments when life feels normal again but these moments are fleeting. It takes courage and resilience to keep going forward while holding onto hope for the days which come after anxiety will eventually fade away into nothingness for good – or at least maybe become manageable enough where feeling anxious won’t dominate every moment of everyday life anymore.