Living with untreated ptsd and what it feels like

What stood out to me was how often people don’t really understand what living with untreated PTSD is like. It’s not just about experiencing flashbacks or nightmares. For me, it’s like carrying this invisible weight that I can’t quite shake off. Some days, it feels heavier than others, and on those days, even simple tasks can feel insurmountable.

I remember a time when I thought I could handle everything on my own. You know, brushing off my feelings and telling myself to just “tough it out.” But that just led to a cycle of avoidance. I’d try to push through, but then, suddenly, I’d find myself in a crowded place and feel completely overwhelmed. It’s like my mind takes me back to moments I’d rather forget, and everything else fades away.

I’ve found that my relationships have taken a hit too. It’s hard to explain to friends why I sometimes pull back or seem distant. I often worry about burdening them with my struggles, so I keep a lot bottled up. It’s this strange balance of wanting support but not knowing how to ask for it. Have any of you felt that way?

There are days when I just want to break free from the chains of the past. I’ve started to realize that avoiding the things that trigger me doesn’t really help in the long run. It’s exhausting to navigate life like this, constantly on guard and feeling like I need to protect myself from… well, everything. It’s a lonely road, but I’ve been trying to take small steps towards addressing it.

What’s interesting is that I’ve started paying attention to my reactions more. I might feel a sudden surge of anger or sadness over something that seems small, and I’ve learned that those feelings often trace back to deeper issues. It’s like peeling back layers of an onion—I can’t tackle everything at once, but recognizing those emotions has been a start.

If anyone is going through something similar, I’d love to hear your thoughts. How do you cope with it all? What small changes have you made that felt significant? Sometimes just sharing can really lighten the load a bit, don’t you think?