I cant stop obsessing over one person and its messing with my head

I can’t stop obsessing over one person, and it’s starting to mess with my head. I check my phone way too often, replay conversations, and keep looking for little signs that probably aren’t even there. When they’re busy or don’t respond, my mood drops fast.

The worst part is that I know I’m doing it, but knowing that hasn’t made it easier to stop. I’ve tried distracting myself, but somehow my thoughts circle back to them anyway. I’m neglecting sleep and other parts of my life because so much of my attention is stuck on this person.

I don’t know if “addicted” is the right word, but it feels less like a normal crush and more like I can’t regulate myself around them. Has anyone found something that actually helps break this kind of fixation?

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The phone checking became the biggest trap for me. I turned off their notifications and moved the messaging app off my home screen, then set two specific times to check it. The urge was still there, but I stopped feeding it every few minutes.

When the thoughts came back, I wrote down what I actually knew versus what I was guessing. That helped separate a delayed reply from the story my head was building around it. I’d also take the phone out of the bedroom, since losing sleep made the fixation much worse.

If it’s affecting sleep and daily life this much, talking with a therapist could be worth it. You don’t have to wait until it gets even more disruptive.

The part about your mood dropping when they don’t respond sounds especially exhausting. A delayed message can start feeling like a judgment, even when there’s no real evidence behind it.

What helped me was making the checking less automatic instead of trying to ban the thoughts completely. I’d put my phone across the room, set a short timer, and write down what I knew versus what I was assuming. The urge didn’t vanish, but it became easier to pause before acting on it.

Since it’s cutting into your sleep and daily life, would you consider talking with a therapist about it? There may be more going on than just liking someone, and you shouldn’t have to sort it out alone.