I can’t stop obsessing over calories, and it’s really messing with my head. I think about numbers before I eat, while I’m eating, and afterward. Even when I’m physically hungry, I start calculating whether I’ve “earned” the food or if I need to cut back later.
It’s getting hard to enjoy meals or be around other people without feeling anxious. I’ll tell myself I’m just trying to be healthy, but this doesn’t feel healthy anymore. The guilt and constant checking are taking up so much space in my thoughts.
I’m trying to be honest about it instead of brushing it off. I think I need to talk to a doctor or therapist who understands eating disorders, because I don’t seem able to stop this on my own. Has anyone else dealt with calorie counting becoming this consuming?
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The part about calculating whether you’ve “earned” food really hit home. I got stuck in that mindset for a while, and even a normal meal could turn into a mental debate instead of something I enjoyed.
Reaching out to someone who understands eating disorders sounds like a solid step. I found it helped to tell a trusted person exactly how much time the thoughts were taking up, rather than just saying I was stressed about food.
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@Kathryn_Bell, the fact that you’re feeling hungry but still telling yourself you have to earn food sounds especially exhausting. Hunger isn’t something you need to justify, even if the numbers make it feel that way.
Talking with someone who knows eating disorders seems like the right move. I’d be as direct as you were here, including the checking before, during, and after meals. If you can, tell someone you trust too, so you’re not carrying all of it alone.
@David_Ellis, saying exactly how much time the thoughts were taking up sounds like a useful distinction. “Stressed about food” can sound temporary, while constant mental debates show how much it’s actually interfering.
Did having that conversation help reduce the pressure around meals, or did it mainly help someone else understand what you were dealing with? I wonder if writing down the frequency beforehand would make it easier to explain.