I can usually get myself to the store, which almost makes this more frustrating. The actual shopping trip is sometimes manageable, but before I leave the house, the panic starts building. I’ll check the time, think about the parking lot, imagine getting trapped in line, then suddenly my heart is racing and I’m questioning whether I should go at all.
Sometimes I’m already dressed with my keys in my hand and still end up sitting on the edge of the bed for twenty minutes. It feels like my brain is treating a normal errand like some huge emergency. If I do make it out, I’m tense the whole way there, but usually I’m okay once I’m moving. The hardest part is that period right before leaving, when every possible problem starts feeling guaranteed.
I’m trying not to cancel every time the panic shows up, but it’s exhausting having to argue with myself over a basic trip to the store.