It feels like I’ve been living my life in two different worlds. In one world, I’m the ambitious, determined and resilient person that I used to be before my trauma - the confident version of me. In the other, I find myself dealing with the severe consequences of complex PTSD that remained untreated for far too long.
Living with this condition has had a huge effect on me and it’s taken away my feeling of safety and security. There are days where I’m completely overwhelmed by flashbacks, mental anguish and physical exhaustion that all have become regular experiences in my daily life. Intense anxiety has made socializing more difficult for me and finding meaningful employment have become especially challenging.
I struggle with intense mood swings that leave me feeling both emotionally exhausted and unable to cope in situations that involve a lot of people or noise. It’s usually easier for me to avoid them altogether rather than face them head on, which adds to feelings of loneliness and isolation as well as limiting new opportunity growths in certain areas such as travel or relationships.
It hasn’t been easy fighting through these emotions without help but becoming aware of how important therapy can be has pushed me into taking action towards finally getting help for my surviving journey after traumatic events. Every day is still hard at times but being able to talk openly about it with friends and loved ones helps remind myself why I’m doing all this hard work - so that I can return back to the person ready to take on any challenge in front of him once again.