Hiding my ptsd: personal story

I used to be such an outgoing, carefree person. I had so many friends and always loved going out and exploring my city. That all changed a few years ago when I suffered a traumatic event that left me with PTSD.

Since then, my life has been completely different. I constantly feel on edge, like something bad is always around the corner. I jump at every noise and have difficulty sleeping, because every time I close my eyes it feels like I’m reliving the trauma all over again. This led me to become more of an introvert; scared of making new connections or doing anything that may make me even more vulnerable.

When people do ask, “What’s wrong with you?” or “Why are you so quiet?” It can be very difficult for me to answer. On one hand, it gives me a chance to open up about what’s bothering me but on the other hand it brings back painful memories that I would rather forget and keep hidden away.

I understand that having PTSD isn’t anything to be ashamed of but unfortunately what society says and how we feel does not always know how to communicate positively with each other. So for now, hiding my unresolved emotions seems like the easier option - which isn’t necessarily healthy in the long run, but I’ll figure it out eventually.