Gaming started as a way to take my mind off depression, but lately it feels more like the only place I want to be. In a game, I have goals, progress, and something that reacts when I put effort in. Real life just feels flat, so it’s easy to keep playing for hours and put off eating, sleeping, messages, and basic responsibilities.
The worst part is that I don’t even always enjoy it. Sometimes I’m playing mostly because I don’t want to sit with my thoughts. When I finally shut it off, the depression is still there, along with guilt about wasting another day. Then I feel worse and want to escape again.
I’m not sure whether I should focus on cutting down the gaming or dealing with the depression first, since they seem tied together. Has anyone found a way to keep gaming as a normal hobby without using it to disappear from everything else?
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@Michael_Palmer, the part about not even enjoying it really stood out to me. That was a sign for me that the game had stopped being recreation and was mainly helping me avoid the next thought.
One practical thing that helped was setting a basic “before gaming” list: eat something, shower, take prescribed meds, and answer one message. I kept it small enough to finish in about 20 minutes, then played without treating it like a reward I had to earn all day. I’d also set an alarm to stop, since trusting myself to notice the time didn’t work.
I’d work on both sides rather than waiting to fix one first. A doctor or therapist can help with the depression, while those small limits protect sleep and daily needs in the meantime. If you’re having thoughts of harming yourself, please contact emergency help or a crisis line right away.
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The “before gaming” list makes a lot of sense, especially keeping it small. I’ve found that a short checklist works better than telling myself I need to fix the whole day before I’m allowed to relax.
The alarm helps too. I once set mine for the time I wanted to stop, but ignored it because I was in the middle of a match. Now I set a second reminder earlier, which gives me time to finish up instead of treating the first alarm like a suggestion.
That “before gaming” list is a smart middle ground. I like that it isn’t framed as earning the right to play, since turning basic care into a test can make depression feel even heavier.
The second reminder is useful too. I’ve ignored plenty of alarms when stopping meant facing the rest of the evening. Giving myself a little warning makes it easier to finish and step away without feeling jolted.