I didn’t expect my eating disorder to take up so much of my day. It isn’t just meals or body thoughts anymore. It’s planning around food, avoiding certain situations, feeling guilty after eating, and trying to act normal while my brain is doing calculations in the background.
Even small things can become stressful, like going out with friends or deciding what to have for dinner. I’ve started noticing how much energy this uses, and honestly, it’s exhausting. I keep thinking I should be able to just switch it off, but it doesn’t work that way.
I’m trying to be more honest about how much this is affecting me instead of minimizing it. Has anyone else been surprised by how much an eating disorder can spill into ordinary parts of life?