For a long time, I thought there was something really wrong with me. I had long stretches of low self-esteem and energy, followed by episodes of over-confidence and mania. I was often overwhelmed by the world around me - the noise, the people, the expectations. It seemed like nothing ever fit or felt right for me.
I was eventually diagnosed with bipolar depression last year. The diagnosis explained why I went through such intense emotions and episodes. In some ways it was a relief to know what I was dealing with, but it also blew my mind because it explained so much about me that no one around had ever noticed before.
The good thing is that medication has helped even out my moods and given me an anchor in times of turbulence and stress. Therapy has also been essential to understanding my emotions, how to process them better, and cultivating greater self-awareness and presence. Accepting myself as someone who deals with bipolar depression helps too - learning to be kinder to myself during dark days has been key in finding ways to cope that don’t require external validation from other people or objects.
My journey towards healing has not been easy but one step at a time I’m getting better at managing my mental health on my own terms and creating an environment where depression does not get its way every time!