I’ve started wondering if some of my thoughts and checking habits could be adult OCD, but I’m not sure where the line is between normal anxiety and something more serious.
I get stuck on fears that I left something dangerous on, made a mistake, or might accidentally cause harm. Then I check the stove, locks, outlets, or messages several times. I usually know the checking is excessive, but stopping makes the anxiety spike, so I go back and do it again. Sometimes I replay conversations in my head, trying to prove I didn’t say something awful.
The relief never lasts very long, which is probably the part that bothers me most. I don’t actually want to have these thoughts, and they feel completely out of character. I haven’t been diagnosed, so I’m trying not to label it myself, but it’s starting to interfere with sleep and getting out of the house.
How did you tell the difference between general anxiety and OCD, and what was the first step you took?
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Mark, the short-lived relief after checking is the part that made me think it was more than ordinary worry in my own case. The checking calmed me for a few minutes, then my brain came up with another “what if,” so I never felt finished.
I’d be careful about trying to prove to yourself that the thought was harmless, since that can turn into another compulsion, especially with replaying conversations. My first step was writing down how much time it took and how much it interfered, then bringing that to a therapist who understood OCD. Have you been able to find someone familiar with exposure and response prevention?
Mark, the fact that the relief fades so quickly after checking seems like a useful detail to bring to a professional. I used to think the problem was the thought itself, but the repeated checking and mental replay can keep the cycle going.
A therapist familiar with OCD and exposure and response prevention could help sort out whether this fits OCD or something else. Writing down how often it happens, how long it takes, and what it stops you from doing might make that first appointment easier. Until then, try not to treat the unwanted thoughts as evidence of your character.
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The reminder not to treat unwanted thoughts as evidence of character is something I needed to hear. I’ve spent too much time judging myself for thoughts that I never wanted and would never act on.
I once tracked how many times I went back to check a locked door, and seeing the time written down made the pattern harder to dismiss. It gave me something concrete to bring up in an appointment instead of trying to explain it from memory.