I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately, and I keep coming back to this question: Could it be OCPD or am I just a perfectionist? It’s like I can’t quite untangle the two, and it’s honestly been quite a ride trying to figure it out.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this relentless drive to get everything just right. I’m talking about organizing my closet by color and sleeve length, making lists for everything under the sun, and feeling that nagging pressure if even the tiniest detail is off. At first, I thought, “Hey, this is just who I am!” But now, I wonder if there’s something deeper at play.
When I read about Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder, it resonated in a way that was both enlightening and a bit frightening. It made me realize that my need for control goes beyond simple perfectionism. It’s almost like I’m trying to create a bubble of order in a world that often feels chaotic. I mean, doesn’t everyone want things to be tidy and efficient? But then I catch myself thinking: at what cost?
There are days when I feel proud of my organizational skills—like when I tackle a messy room and turn it into something serene. But then I have those moments when I’m so caught up in the details that I lose sight of the bigger picture. I can be so hard on myself and others, which sometimes leads to rifts in relationships. It’s tough because I genuinely want to connect, but I struggle to let go of my standards.
I often find myself questioning if this is a quirk of my personality or something that might need some attention. Have any of you grappled with similar thoughts? How do you differentiate between striving for excellence and setting yourself up for unnecessary stress? I’d love to hear your experiences or insights. Sometimes just knowing I’m not alone in this can be a huge relief!