# Trying to break the habits i use to cope with everything **URL:** \ **Category:** Addiction\ **Created:** [November 4, 2026, 12:00am UTC](https://forum.sharedquill.org/t/trying-to-break-the-habits-i-use-to-cope-with-everything/55178 "2026-11-04T00:00:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ashley\_Hawkins](https://forum.sharedquill.org/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/a/90ced4/32.png) [@Ashley\_Hawkins](https://forum.sharedquill.org/u/Ashley_Hawkins)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2026, 12:00am UTC](https://forum.sharedquill.org/t/trying-to-break-the-habits-i-use-to-cope-with-everything/55178/1 "2026-11-04T00:00:12Z")
I’ve been realizing how many of my coping habits are really just ways to avoid feeling anything. Scrolling for hours, drinking when I’m overwhelmed, putting off basic responsibilities, then feeling worse because I avoided them. The habits work for a little while, which makes them hard to give up, even when I know they’re causing problems. I had one night recently where I put my phone in another room instead of reaching for it every time I felt anxious. I ended up sitting on the kitchen floor with a glass of water, feeling restless and annoyed, but the feeling eventually passed. It wasn’t some huge breakthrough, but it showed me I can get through a rough moment without automatically doing the thing I usually do. I’m trying to replace these habits instead of just taking them away, but it’s difficult when I’m already drained. How have other people found coping tools that actually stick? ---
**Author:** ![Jordan\_Jones](https://forum.sharedquill.org/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/j/8dc957/32.png) [@Jordan\_Jones](https://forum.sharedquill.org/u/Jordan_Jones)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2026, 12:31am UTC](https://forum.sharedquill.org/t/trying-to-break-the-habits-i-use-to-cope-with-everything/55178/2 "2026-11-04T00:31:29Z")
@Ashley_Hawkins, putting the phone in another room and staying with that restless feeling sounds like a meaningful step. Sitting there with nothing to distract you is uncomfortable, but you proved the urge can pass without running the whole evening. What’s helped me is keeping the replacement very simple and ready beforehand. A glass of water, a short walk, a shower, or doing one small chore can give the feeling somewhere to go without demanding much energy. I try not to make the goal “feel better immediately.” Sometimes it’s just getting through the next ten minutes. Have you noticed whether the urge to scroll or drink hits at a particular time, like after work or late at night? That might help you set up one small alternative before you’re already overwhelmed. ---
**Author:** ![Melissa\_Crawford](https://forum.sharedquill.org/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Melissa\_Crawford](https://forum.sharedquill.org/u/Melissa_Crawford)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2026, 1:02am UTC](https://forum.sharedquill.org/t/trying-to-break-the-habits-i-use-to-cope-with-everything/55178/3 "2026-11-04T01:02:10Z")
The “next ten minutes” idea helps me too. I used to treat a coping tool like it had to fix the whole night, and then I’d give up when I still felt anxious. Late evenings are the hardest for me, especially after I’ve been holding things together all day. I’ve started leaving tea and a book beside the couch, so I have something easy to reach for before I start scrolling. It doesn’t always work, but it gives me a pause. ---
**Author:** ![Lisa\_Weeks](https://forum.sharedquill.org/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/l/ac91a4/32.png) [@Lisa\_Weeks](https://forum.sharedquill.org/u/Lisa_Weeks)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2026, 3:32pm UTC](https://forum.sharedquill.org/t/trying-to-break-the-habits-i-use-to-cope-with-everything/55178/4 "2026-11-04T15:32:01Z")
The “next ten minutes” framing is useful. I tend to make the goal too big, then feel like I’ve failed if I’m still anxious afterward. Letting the feeling be there while doing one small, concrete thing seems more realistic. For me, the urge is usually strongest late at night, when the house is quiet and I’m worn out from holding everything together. Keeping water, tea, or a book nearby helps create that pause before I reach for my phone. It doesn’t work every time, but sometimes a pause is enough.