This makes me think about how our bodies can sometimes feel like they’re not really ours, especially when we’re dealing with something like anorexia. I mean, the physical changes are pretty hard to miss, right? It’s not just about the weight; it’s how our skin reacts too.
I’ve noticed that my skin has changed a lot during this journey. It’s strange, though. You hear about the physical signs, like being cold all the time or feeling weak, but the skin is something people don’t always talk about. Mine became almost translucent, like I was living in a constant state of fragility. I’d look in the mirror and see these shadows under my eyes, like little reminders of the battles I was fighting.
Sometimes I catch myself feeling like I’m in a different skin, one that doesn’t quite fit or feels foreign. It’s a bizarre experience, really. I’ve felt so disconnected from the person I used to be—the one who didn’t obsess over every little thing. And that disconnection goes beyond the mirror. It seeps into how I interact with people and how I see myself in the world.
And you know, the weird thing is there are moments when I feel this strange sense of pride in my skin. It’s like, look what I can control. But then I snap back to reality and realize that pride is misplaced. It’s a reminder of the struggle, not a badge of honor. I wish I could make sense of that contradiction—celebrating something that feels like a prison.
Have you ever felt like that? Like there’s a part of you that’s proud of the control, but then you also feel this deep sadness about what you’re sacrificing? It’s tough to talk about because I know folks might think I’m just focusing on the negative. But I guess it’s all part of the process of understanding myself, even the uncomfortable parts.
I’d love to hear how others relate to this. How do you navigate those feelings? Do you see your skin as a reflection of your journey, or is it just one more thing to deal with? I think it’s really important to share and reflect on these experiences together.